15 June 1998
A New Discovery: Feelings between notes
On 11th May, my successful (and long-waited) completion of the year-long English training course was announced. Of 13 original members of the class, one took leave of absence due to homesick, but others all passed the final examination. We all can relax and enjoy the summer vacation!


In front of Paul Recital Hall with a friend, after the end-of-term concert (author on the right)

Most universities in the US end the school year in May. In Juilliard, students go home, travel abroad for concert tour, work as professional performing artist, or participate in summer seminars/sessions or music festivals in other parts of the world for about 3 months from May to September. They refresh, or tune themselves for the new school year from September. As for me, I will sing in "Falstaff" from 15th June in Aspen Music Festival. But before that, I came back to Japan for 3 weeks for vacation.

As I recall the past 9 months in Juilliard, everyday was filled encounters with unmet part of myself, or totally new sets of value. Not a single day passed without strain. Today, I would like to talk about how I had changed.

Firstly, my sense of music. Compared to my past performances, I now try to express indescribable feelings between notes, such as joy, beauty, grief, or despair. By nature, I am easily moved. When I was in Japan, I emphasized on the vocal technique. Here in Juilliard, I study how to make the most of my character based on these skills. A professional singer must have both "good voice" and "good taste for music." Being appraised for one of them is not enough. So, I think what I am learning is yet another step to professional performing artist. But such feelings were not acquired at once in the classroom, but slowly nurtured by listening to first-class artists' performances, or through everyday encounters with other students, or during lessons.
Another discovery was brought from Prof. Johnson, the vocal trainer. He(She?) once said "Makiko, you totally look as an Easterner, but unlike other students pressing their mother cultures, you have the ability to respect other cultures, yet express your own culture."

In a country nicknamed as "the melting pot," I once suffered wondering what the "common sense" was. In Japan, everybody around you is Japanese. You could share similar sets of value. With many races living in one country, the US is like world in a miniature. There, a strong and firmly established "self" only can show consideration to others or criticize others.

My first impression was "Everything will be OK if I acted as other Americans". But soon the next and very basic question took me back to where I started. "What is the general idea?" I found out that "What I want to do" was the key to open the door to my career.

I hope I can make the most of these scenes and experience in Juilliard as my starting point and assets.

HOME